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Life is not a dress rehearsal





This happened during my call yesterday with a stranger. I would call him Jay, he is 47 years of age, lives in Singapore, is married twice and divorced, sceptical to trust.

(Have to hand it to him that he is courageous to book with a volunteer and open up his heart) – Sharing with his permission.





Jay loses everyone he loves, in spite of greatest efforts, wishes if he could see his future. Thinks, it would be so easy to live life. Wishes, there could be a dress rehearsal of life.


I could resonate with him as 28 years me, who felt the same.

People whom I love, didn’t only leave me, however left me living behind to experience the other side. Without a chance to even communicate and reach out.

I have found that all the feelings around people and situations are created in our own minds.

An event happens and we create a story around it and then live with it.

Jay – I am alone in spite of all my efforts

Me – Who would you like to be with you now?

Jay – “Samantha”!! with a deep sigh

Me – Where is Samantha now?

Jay – She hates me, I did my best to keep her happy and she isn’t with me

Me – “Why do you think she hates you?”

Jay – Because I didn’t keep my promise.

Me – Did she say that to you?

Jay – No, she would hate me of course, and I have not spoken to her since then. I know she’s mad and we’ll argue.

Me – What if she’s is waiting and giving you time to you to fulfil your promise.

Jay – I don’t like to argue

Me – Do you think she likes to argue?

Jay – No, she’s the nicest woman I have met.

Me – And?

Jay – I love her, and she’ll leave me.

Me – What if she doesn’t, wouldn’t know unless you create connection, what do you think?

Jay – I’m scared to call her

Me – What do you think she’d say when you call her?

Jay – She might ask me about my inaction, or she might talk about her dog, or she might ask me how have I been, actually I don’t know. Sigh!!!

Me – How can you find out?

Jay – I love her and I cannot express it and I am scared of losing her.

Me – have you not already lost her?

Jay – what should I do?

Me – what does your heart say?

Jay – Buy a coffee and hold her hand take her to the beach for a walk.

Me – what’s stopping you?

Jay – “Me”, “my fear”. You know what, I will go now.

Me Ok. But before you go…this is my email, write to me to share your experience.

To be continued….

I cannot encourage enough anyone who’s reading and if this resonates, talk with someone whom you think is waiting for you to call /connect again.

More than ever, this is the time to create connections / restore connections.

Life is not a dress rehearsal. When you find yourself at a fork, just choose to take an action leading from the heart.

Be assured of the outcome will be either- You succeed, or You learn.

Life doesn’t offer a dress rehearsal; however, it does offer opportunities to succeed and/or learn.

Book your spot to speak with Gagan Arneja to get clarity on "what you want",


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